Tom King's Monthly Column
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If you have, or know of, a magazine, web site, or newspaper, and want to enhance it for
your viewers or readers, then talk to Tom about running his column - bi-weekly or monthly!
An introduction, some great Cowboy Poetry, and a cartoon to boot.
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Complete with an Eldon Walls Cartoon, Tom's columns are based on the lighter side of
rural life. Tom now writes for the Olds
Albertan, in Olds and the Central Alberta Farmer, in the Leduc, Camrose and Wetaskiwin
area. He also writes a monthly column for a magazine called My Pets in Belfast Northern
Ireland. If you are interested in using this column just
Send Tom an Email or give him
a phone call or fax at: (403) 638-5241
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Here's the February Column!
Well, it's February 2010. I thought I might write a sappy, sweet article about Valentines
Day and love and all that other stuff. Then my darlin' and I got into it this morning and
all that sappy, sweet stuff got flushed! Yep, after a couple o' rotations 'round the
proverbial toilet bowl of relationships, that 'sweet' thought was gone like the average
morning 'movement'! I know I'm gonna pay for this but ...
Then I had a thought come to me. You bet! Me and a thought in the same room and, I
might add, at the same time! Maybe, just maybe, I might be somewhat to blame for the
confrontation which had occurred. I have been known, on the very rare occasion, to have
let the wrong word, or wrong comment, slip from my normally quiet and polite kisser.
Point is, I'm turning into the man I swore I never would. My Father! I'm even starting
to look like him! Yikes!!! I should be, above all things, absolutely grateful that my
lovely lass puts up with me and continues to want to share the same domicile with me
instead of griping about the stupid little stuff that really means nothing in the grand
scheme of things.
You'd think one would learn! Oh well, there's always next Valentine's Day ...I hope!
I wrote the following poem some time ago and my good friend, Ben Crane, came up with a
purdy accurate sketch of the 'real me'!
Happy Valentine's Day! And boys, it doesn't hurt to show your 'soft' side sometimes!
Really!
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NOBODY'S PERFECT!
I'm not sure what God was thinkin' when he made this head of mine.
It puzzles me as I grow old, I'm confused from time to time.
I ask myself. "What's with my hair?" The funny way it grows.
I'm sproutin' new stuff in my ears, it's growin' from my nose.
I'm losing what grows up on top; It don't protect me from the weather.
There's somethin' wrong with my eyebrows, they seem to've grown together!
I lost the hearing in my ear. I ask." What's up with this?"
Believe me when I tell y'all it's somethin' that I miss.
I think my nose is spreading out, it's bigger than it was.
I asked the Doc' today. "What gives?" He said. "It's just because!"
I guess it's part of getting' old My 'pretty' days are toast.
I can't begin to tell you folks what I dislike the most!
My wife, she tells me not to fret. it's really not that bad.
"It could be worse" is what she says. "No reason to get mad!"
She's right I guess but in a way, there is some cause for stress.
'Cause if I do make eighty-some, I'll really be a mess!
I looked around the mall today, I'm just your av'rage male consumer.
Now I'm sure, there ain't no doubt. God has a sense of humor!!
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Tom King
Box 15, Site 104, RR3
Sundre, Alberta
T0M 1X0
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Phone or Fax Tom at:
(403) 638-5241
or Email him at:
dktk@xplornet.com
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